“Even death is not to be feared by one who lives wisely.”
Discussing Death Is Unsettling
There is so much uncertainty about death and what follows. As a result, discussing death is unsettling and even frightening for most people.
Most people strive to keep the subject of death out of their minds on a daily basis. This can be challenging when a good deal of news reports center on death, even catastrophic losses of life. In addition, as we grow older, we routinely are confronted with the deaths of family and friends, with the passing of people who have been important fixtures of our lives.
We Feel Unprepared
The reality is that the vast majority of people go through most of their lives feeling utterly unprepared for death. Discussing death brings a person face to face with the reality that he or she truly feels unprepared for death.
In some cases, there is a religious underpinning to this feeling of being unprepared. Some women and men just do not feel ready to meet their maker. In other cases, people believe that there are things to be done to protect the welfare of their loved ones. Whatever the underlying reason, many, many individuals sincerely feel unprepared for death and talking about what they perceive as their reality only makes matters worse.
We Have More to Accomplish
Talking about death reminds many individuals that they have more to accomplish in life. Some people have created a bucket list, and there remains much to be done on it. Others have professional or personal goals that have yet to be attained. Whatever the specifics may be, this feeling that there remains much more to be accomplished in life renders discussing death highly uncomfortable and even unpleasant.
Uncertainty of What Comes Next
Another of the significant reasons why people avoid talking about death is because of a sense of uncertainty about what comes next. Of course, there are some individuals that have firmly held ideas about what comes after life on Earth. These conceptions of life after death run the gambit from living in a heavenly paradise to nothing at all. There is a fairly significant number of people who believe that there is nothing following our time on Earth. Some psychologists maintain that uncertainty of what might come next is more daunting than going through some sort of bad experience directly.
Fear We Lived Life Poorly
One of the reasons why people tend to balk at discussing death is because they are less than satisfied with the manner in which they lived their lives. When a person believes that he or she has lived his or her live poorly, that individual is not going to be eager to talk about death.
For example, a significant group of individuals who question how appropriately or well they have lived their lives dread the prospect of being judged by their maker when they depart life on Earth.
Concerns About Leaving Our Loved Ones Behind
A considerable number of people avoid discussing death and dying because of a more specific fear. These people fear leaving their loved ones behind when they die. For example, a person with younger children very well may have significant, and even legitimate, fears about what will happen to their young ones if death comes. As is the case with so many other issues, talking about death underscores the concerns of some people about what would happen to their loved ones if death comes, particularly if the end of life comes prematurely.
We Dread or Even Fear the Process of Dying Itself
Many people avoid talking about death because of their own sense of dread or even fear, associated with the process of dying itself. Most people have these types of concerns.
Individuals who have experienced a significant illness in their lives fear the process of dying because they have endured a major medical issue in their lives. These people understand the pain, fear, and other issues associated with a significant illness. They extrapolate this over to the process of dying.
Those individuals who never endured a major illness may also fear the death process itself. This largely stems from the fact that people in this position have no context into which they can attempt to place the prospect of death and dying.